It used to be, if you wanted to be active in the dating world, you did one or more of the following: you let your friends fix you up, you went to lots of parties, bars or clubs hoping to connect, you took classes or joined clubs to meet someone with the same interests as you, or, you got lucky and met someone at work or school or on the street.

Or, maybe you were one of the brave souls who searched the personals (ads) or even placed a personal ad yourself.

Well, for the brave at heart, today’s search game may not be that much different from the old classified/personal ads, except that the ads are posted online. And there’s a variety of online dating websites you can peruse, cruise or join – some are free, some charge a membership fee.

Let’s see… there’s Match.com, EHarmony.com, JDate, Lavalife, Matchmaker, Nerve, Friend Finder, Great Expectations, PerfectMatch.com, Science Connection, Yahoo Personals and my personal favorite, DateMyPet.com. And there are many others as well.

I’ve heard of people meeting their future mate online and, boy, I give them a lot of credit. You really have to do your homework on these sites. You have to look at the pictures and try to determine if the pictures are recent or from high school. A cap and gown is usually a quick giveaway! You have to read all their stories or “bios” – like, “I’m single, never been married and I live with my mother.” Or, “Just separated… looking to move out soon.” Or, “Divorced, 3 great kids, 6, 10 and 12, two dogs, a cat and a hamster. Lonely and looking for someone to share my life with.”

And then you have to go through their “specs.” That’s computer lingo for age, height, weight, eye color, what they’re looking for in a relationship, etc. Wow – it’s a full-time job to date online!

In the 21st C, we search for people online, we have relationships online, we even have sex online (“cybersex”). So, is this the future of dating in the 21st C? You don’t need a new pair of shoes; you need a new web cam!

When it comes to meeting people, I must admit, I prefer old-fashioned chemistry. I like meeting someone in-person and feeling that spark (or not). On the other hand, chemistry tests sometimes fail and online shopping, even for a man (or woman), can be convenient in this busy, always-on-the-go world we live in. Sometimes a bit too convenient, as it is very easy to "drop" someone when all of your interactions have been online. I think these online dating websites should include a CAUTION note, “Online dating can be hazardous to your ego!”

Let’s face it, shopping for a vibrator is a little easier. With a vibrator, chances are, what you see is what you get. A vibrator isn’t demanding and won’t reject you. And, a vibrator will give you pleasure every time you interact (as long as you keep the batteries fresh!). Whereas, the man… well, there’s a 50/50 chance on all counts!

Lauren Meister is President of Blissable.com
and writer of the new column, Sex in the 21st C

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