July 2006

July 4th marks this country’s day of independence. But what about women’s sexual independence? When did our day come? (Please excuse the pun!)

There are various theories on that. Some might argue that it started with Freud although most would agree that women’s sexual independence was propelled by the sexual revolution and women’s liberation movement that took place in the 1960’s and 70’s. Some might also say that true sexual independence came with the advent of the pill. At Blissable.com, we think that women’s sexual independence came with the vibrator… although not at first!

What is the history of the vibrator? Has it always been a device to pleasure women?

Here’s the short version – no! The electromechanical vibrator was patented in the 1880s as a medical instrument. It was designed to mechanize massage techniques used on women, by physicians, to induce orgasm (“hysterical paroxysm”) as a treatment for hysteria. Yes, our sexuality was thought to be a mental illness! Eventually, vibrators were available for home use, but still they were not considered socially acceptable until much more recent times. Leave it to a man to invent something good but then make you feel guilty (or “sick”) for wanting to use it!

So, when did the Rabbit get to declare its independence? When it became pretty obvious that the body massager was being used for reasons other than muscle soreness!

Back to our independence day… my theory is that every woman has her very own sexual independence day. I think that each of us has, or will have, a moment (call it an epiphany), when we say, “Hey, I like this and I’m going keep doing this. And I‘m not going to feel guilty or bad!” Hallelujah!

My advice… women, embrace your sexuality. Don’t be embarrassed to do things for yourself that are pleasurable. As long as you’re not hurting someone (that is, that doesn’t want to be hurt!), what’s the harm? We only have one life to live, at least as we know it; why shouldn’t we enjoy it fully?

So, now, my question to you is, have you celebrated your Sexual Independence Day? No? Well, then today’s the day. Go online. Buy yourself a present. Declare your Sexual Independence! At Blissable.com, we say, Viva Le Rabbit!

While I was doing some research online for this month’s column, I did a Google search of the words “Sexual Independence” and came across this website with its own Declaration of Sexual Independence (http://www.sss-now.org/sacred_sex/freedom/Declaration_of_Sexual_Independence.htm). I thought, how appropriate! If you have a chance, take a look. And have a great July 4th holiday!

Lauren Meister is President of Blissable.com and writer of the new column, Sex in the 21st C.

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